fatherslove | (no subject)

He looked over at her and then out at the trees again, remembering what she had said about there being no danger but wondering anyway. Did he have to be on his guard? "Is that something we have to worry about?"

"No," Lily said, because she hadn't seen any bears during her time there and she wasn't remembering this place with them. But since they were alone, she thought it would likely be safe for her to change something and so she paused, concentrating, then smiled as a deer emerged from the trees across the small river. "I promise not to imagine any bears."

He froze, watching the deer move. He had seen them before, of course; the countryside around the city was full of them. But this was somehow wilder, almost magical, and he squeezed Lily's hand, unconsciously pulling her a little closer.

"Did you do that?"

She nodded, smiling as she pressed closer against Delta, one hand creeping up to rest against his side. Across from them, the deer lifted her head, frozen in the sunlight, and although Lily had made her, she was sure she couldn't possibly begin to control her. For a moment, it seemed like the deer might run, but then she relaxed again and lowered her head to continue her grazing.

"I probably shouldn't do it very often, but I couldn't resist," she said.

"That's the kind of thing that... gets attention?" He kept himself still, watching it graze, the sun dappling its warm brown back. There was something about it that almost looked more real than he was used to, like a velvety texture to its coat that he could almost touch from where he was. The way the best dreams were so deeply felt, so elusive.

The bread we eat in dreams, he thought. Not his own thought. He'd read it somewhere but couldn't recall it now.

Lily nodded, still watching the deer as it moved through the tall grass, then wandered away through the trees. "Yeah, if I do it too much, it's like your mind rebels," she said, then smiled. "I'm not too worried about it out here, it seems like your subconscious is all back at the castle."

They would probably be tourists, guides, locals. All mixed together, all suspicious of her.

"Too bad." He shot her a smile. "I'd like to see what else you can do."

He turned toward her, moving a little closer, reaching up to cup her face with his hand. "Maybe we should stay out here a little longer, then," he murmured, and leaned in to kiss her.

It was pure impulse, just because it felt like the right thing to do at that moment. And it was also very much like the kisses before. But there was an edge to it now, something pushing up inside him. So it was also... different.

There wasn't a single thing Lily could find wrong with that as she slipped her arms around Delta, pressing against him and up into the kiss. It wasn't real, there was no way it could be real, but everything about him felt exactly as she knew it would. It felt as real as any other kiss they'd shared outside of the dream and it felt like more, too. Maybe it was Delta or maybe it was this place, but whatever it was, she liked it.

He let the kiss go one for a while, just feeling her in his arms, the way her mouth fit against his, part of him musing a little at it. But he didn't think he should be musing. He didn't think he should be thinking at all. Maybe thinking was what got in the way, sometimes.

Maybe he could remember more if he did less thinking.

He settled a hand into the small of her back and, moving entirely on that same instinct, nudged her lips apart, pressing even closer.

Lily didn't mind taking the lead, but with Delta, she'd made herself clear, then let him do the leading. Something about that decision had felt right at the time and even now, in this small clearing beside a river she'd once seen, it felt right. She was used to being the one in charge, but she didn't have to be here. He deepened the kiss and she responded easily, lips parting for him, rising up on her toes to fit her body against his.

Slowly he broke the kiss, almost reluctant, but he wanted to look at her again. Because she was beautiful, lips slightly swollen and cheeks slightly flushed, the sunlight dappling her hair.

He had asked to be brought here to see the forest, but now she was all he wanted to look at.

"I don't think I want to go to the castle," he murmured. "Not this time."

"We don't have to," she answered, her arms still wrapped around him, fingertips stroking lightly against the back of his neck. "We can stay here." She didn't know how much time they had left before the alarm would take them out of the dream, but it didn't matter. Once they were out, they were still together.

"Whatever you want," she said and she meant it. She didn't often focus on what she was feeling, but being with Delta made her feel good, something she'd been ignoring for a long time.

"I'm not sure what I want," he said softly, still looking down at her. He wasn't often actually aware of how much larger than her he was, but he was noticing it now. And unlike how things usually went when he noticed that kind of thing, it wasn't bothering him. Quite the opposite.

"I'm never completely sure what I want when I'm with you."

"You know, I'm going to choose to take that as a compliment," she said with a soft laugh, her fingers still moving gently over his skin. It was something she'd heard before, often when she was trying to confuse someone, using her looks to get something she wanted, but that wasn't what she was doing here. She wasn't manipulating or maneuvering, she was just happy to be here.

"Simple question first, do you want to stay here or do you want to wake up?" she asked, leaning up to press another kiss to his mouth, speaking against his lips.

He was about to repeat that he didn't know, that both things seemed equally enticing - but then he did know. This might feel real, as real as waking, but he knew it wasn't. When he remembered it later, it would feel different.

And he was still missing so much in the way of memory.

"I want to wake up."

"Alright, we have..." She trailed off, pulling back a little to look at the watch she'd set before going in. The alarm hooked up to the PASIV would bring them back out and she thought she had calculated the right dosage for the proper amount of time.

"A few minutes left before we're brought out," she finished, looking back to him with a smile. "You could kiss me again while we wait."

"Could I?" He laughed as he curled a hand around the back of her neck and pulled her up and in, the kiss hungrier this time. That's what he was, he realized. Hungry. That was perhaps the best word to describe it. It was all of it - the newness of the forest, the clear water, the air fresh and sweet in his lungs, the warm grace of the deer. He had almost died and then he had come here and was alive again.

So he was going to live.

With her arms wrapped around him again, Lily laughed as well, then pressed into the kiss, just as hungry as he was. She hadn't wanted to push him at all, but she'd been burning for something like this for awhile now, waiting until he was ready and even though she knew this wasn't entirely real, that they were both sitting on her couch in her apartment, it still felt incredible.

She was pressing against him, one hand slipping down his back when the alarm on her watch beeped.

He came awake all at once, not like waking from a long sleep but only from a moment or two of dozing - which he supposed it was. He could still taste her on his lip, could still feel the strands of her hair sliding through his fingers - but there was her hand in his, her eyes just starting to open.

I want to see this again, he thought. This very thing. And reached up to touch her face.

Lily smiled, her eyes opened and she glanced down only long enough to disconnect herself from the PASIV. Then she reached for Delta's as well, leaving both lines draped over the coffee table and she touched his hand against her face. It wasn't like waking up after sleeping, she was more aware, and she remembered everything.

Shifting on the couch, she kicked off her shoes, then placed one hand on Delta's chest and swung her leg carefully until she was resting in his lap.

The movement didn't surprise him. Nothing much was surprising him now. It was really as if he had done all of this before, that his body remembered even if the rest of him didn't, and now that he was letting his body take over, there was no effort in any of it.

So he wasn't at all surprised to find that he was getting hard, either.

He settled his hands on her hips, looking up at her. "You're going to have to tell me what you want me to do," he murmured. "At least at first."

"I think you'll get the hang of it," Lily answered, leaning forward a little, one arm draped over his shoulder. "But I'll help you out where I can." Given everything they'd done so far, the kisses in the forest, his arms around her, she doubted he'd need as much help as he thought and she pressed closer to kiss him again. Her hips rolled slowly, pressing against him and she could feel him between them, getting hard, and a grin crossed her features briefly.

"I think I'll-" he started to say, and then it bled into a low groan as he arched up against her. None of this felt strange. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. He tangled one of his hands in her hair and pulled her for for another kiss, and this time he gave into an even rougher instinct and bit down gently on her lower lip.

He wondered if she might not like that. But only a little.

His other hand was moving again, sliding up under the back of her shirt, her skin so smooth and warm under his rough palm.

Lily did like it. All of it. She liked the feel of his teeth against her lower lip, his palm on her skin, his other hand in her hair and as he arched against her, she responded in kind, feeling a surge of pure desire coursing through her. She'd slept with other people since her arrival in Darrow, but there was no one else she'd waited for. Not like this. Not in a long time.

But she could feel it now, all of it, how badly she wanted him, and the fingers of both her hands crept toward the hem of his shirt, sneaking under, fingertips splayed against his warm skin.

When she touched him like that he got a flash of where this was going, of what it was inexorably leading to, and he already felt as if she was stripping him naked. As if she could already see everything.

It wasn't at all an unattractive idea.

"I want to see you," he breathed, pushing his hands further up, tracing her spine with his fingers. "Please... let me see you."