fatherslove | (no subject)

He let the kiss go one for a while, just feeling her in his arms, the way her mouth fit against his, part of him musing a little at it. But he didn't think he should be musing. He didn't think he should be thinking at all. Maybe thinking was what got in the way, sometimes.

Maybe he could remember more if he did less thinking.

He settled a hand into the small of her back and, moving entirely on that same instinct, nudged her lips apart, pressing even closer.

Lily didn't mind taking the lead, but with Delta, she'd made herself clear, then let him do the leading. Something about that decision had felt right at the time and even now, in this small clearing beside a river she'd once seen, it felt right. She was used to being the one in charge, but she didn't have to be here. He deepened the kiss and she responded easily, lips parting for him, rising up on her toes to fit her body against his.

Slowly he broke the kiss, almost reluctant, but he wanted to look at her again. Because she was beautiful, lips slightly swollen and cheeks slightly flushed, the sunlight dappling her hair.

He had asked to be brought here to see the forest, but now she was all he wanted to look at.

"I don't think I want to go to the castle," he murmured. "Not this time."

"We don't have to," she answered, her arms still wrapped around him, fingertips stroking lightly against the back of his neck. "We can stay here." She didn't know how much time they had left before the alarm would take them out of the dream, but it didn't matter. Once they were out, they were still together.

"Whatever you want," she said and she meant it. She didn't often focus on what she was feeling, but being with Delta made her feel good, something she'd been ignoring for a long time.

"I'm not sure what I want," he said softly, still looking down at her. He wasn't often actually aware of how much larger than her he was, but he was noticing it now. And unlike how things usually went when he noticed that kind of thing, it wasn't bothering him. Quite the opposite.

"I'm never completely sure what I want when I'm with you."

"You know, I'm going to choose to take that as a compliment," she said with a soft laugh, her fingers still moving gently over his skin. It was something she'd heard before, often when she was trying to confuse someone, using her looks to get something she wanted, but that wasn't what she was doing here. She wasn't manipulating or maneuvering, she was just happy to be here.

"Simple question first, do you want to stay here or do you want to wake up?" she asked, leaning up to press another kiss to his mouth, speaking against his lips.

He was about to repeat that he didn't know, that both things seemed equally enticing - but then he did know. This might feel real, as real as waking, but he knew it wasn't. When he remembered it later, it would feel different.

And he was still missing so much in the way of memory.

"I want to wake up."

"Alright, we have..." She trailed off, pulling back a little to look at the watch she'd set before going in. The alarm hooked up to the PASIV would bring them back out and she thought she had calculated the right dosage for the proper amount of time.

"A few minutes left before we're brought out," she finished, looking back to him with a smile. "You could kiss me again while we wait."

"Could I?" He laughed as he curled a hand around the back of her neck and pulled her up and in, the kiss hungrier this time. That's what he was, he realized. Hungry. That was perhaps the best word to describe it. It was all of it - the newness of the forest, the clear water, the air fresh and sweet in his lungs, the warm grace of the deer. He had almost died and then he had come here and was alive again.

So he was going to live.

With her arms wrapped around him again, Lily laughed as well, then pressed into the kiss, just as hungry as he was. She hadn't wanted to push him at all, but she'd been burning for something like this for awhile now, waiting until he was ready and even though she knew this wasn't entirely real, that they were both sitting on her couch in her apartment, it still felt incredible.

She was pressing against him, one hand slipping down his back when the alarm on her watch beeped.

He came awake all at once, not like waking from a long sleep but only from a moment or two of dozing - which he supposed it was. He could still taste her on his lip, could still feel the strands of her hair sliding through his fingers - but there was her hand in his, her eyes just starting to open.

I want to see this again, he thought. This very thing. And reached up to touch her face.

Lily smiled, her eyes opened and she glanced down only long enough to disconnect herself from the PASIV. Then she reached for Delta's as well, leaving both lines draped over the coffee table and she touched his hand against her face. It wasn't like waking up after sleeping, she was more aware, and she remembered everything.

Shifting on the couch, she kicked off her shoes, then placed one hand on Delta's chest and swung her leg carefully until she was resting in his lap.

The movement didn't surprise him. Nothing much was surprising him now. It was really as if he had done all of this before, that his body remembered even if the rest of him didn't, and now that he was letting his body take over, there was no effort in any of it.

So he wasn't at all surprised to find that he was getting hard, either.

He settled his hands on her hips, looking up at her. "You're going to have to tell me what you want me to do," he murmured. "At least at first."

"I think you'll get the hang of it," Lily answered, leaning forward a little, one arm draped over his shoulder. "But I'll help you out where I can." Given everything they'd done so far, the kisses in the forest, his arms around her, she doubted he'd need as much help as he thought and she pressed closer to kiss him again. Her hips rolled slowly, pressing against him and she could feel him between them, getting hard, and a grin crossed her features briefly.

"I think I'll-" he started to say, and then it bled into a low groan as he arched up against her. None of this felt strange. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. He tangled one of his hands in her hair and pulled her for for another kiss, and this time he gave into an even rougher instinct and bit down gently on her lower lip.

He wondered if she might not like that. But only a little.

His other hand was moving again, sliding up under the back of her shirt, her skin so smooth and warm under his rough palm.

Lily did like it. All of it. She liked the feel of his teeth against her lower lip, his palm on her skin, his other hand in her hair and as he arched against her, she responded in kind, feeling a surge of pure desire coursing through her. She'd slept with other people since her arrival in Darrow, but there was no one else she'd waited for. Not like this. Not in a long time.

But she could feel it now, all of it, how badly she wanted him, and the fingers of both her hands crept toward the hem of his shirt, sneaking under, fingertips splayed against his warm skin.

When she touched him like that he got a flash of where this was going, of what it was inexorably leading to, and he already felt as if she was stripping him naked. As if she could already see everything.

It wasn't at all an unattractive idea.

"I want to see you," he breathed, pushing his hands further up, tracing her spine with his fingers. "Please... let me see you."

Leaning in, she pressed another slow kiss to his mouth, then ghosted her lips over the side of his jaw before she pulled back and smiled. Although he'd asked to see her, she took a moment just to look at him, his eyes, the curve of his mouth, before her hands slipped from under his shirt and hooked in the hem of her own. She tugged the shirt up, over her head, her hair getting caught for a moment before it fell back down around her shoulder and she let the shirt drop to the floor behind her.

He'd said she'd have to tell him what to do, but Lily didn't think she would.

For a moment he just looked at her, gaze moving over her - up over the swell of her hips, her belly, her breasts, the graceful curve of her collarbones. He had seen women naked before, of course, but those had been images, and of course it wasn't the same. And he hadn't known them. Hadn't cared about them.

Then it occurred to him, as if he hadn't thought of it before, that he was allowed to touch her, and he slid his hands slowly up her waist, hesitating for a moment or two before he closed his palms over her breasts.

"You're beautiful," he murmured, and leaned in to press a slow kiss against her breastbone.

She'd heard it before, even from people she had cared about, but it felt different every time and hearing it from Delta's lips was no exception. It sent a shiver through her, just the weight of his gaze on her and then he was touching her and she reached back to unhook the clasp of her bra as his lips pressed against her skin. Lowering one arm, she shook it off, then let her bra follow her shirt to the floor before she wrapped both her arms around him again, her head tipped back slightly.

"I want to see you, too," she murmured, leaning forward, speaking against the shell of his ear as her fingers found their way under the hem of his shirt once again.

He had never really been conscious of his own body before, except in as much as he often found himself the largest person in any given room. But under his clothes were a mass of scars, cuts and burns, marks of the process that had grafted him into the suit and of the fighting he had been forced to do after. And it wasn't that he thought she wouldn't want to see it or that she would turn away, but it was that awful past forcing its way into a place he wanted to keep from it.

But he didn't want to keep anything from her, either.

He reached down and slowly lifted up the hem of his shirt, pulling it off over his head and letting it fall.

It wasn't completely unexpected between the things he'd told her and what she'd been able to see and feel of him before, but for a second she was surprised that anyone could have done such damage to a person. To anyone. She didn't understand it, she'd spent her life far from anything dangerous or threatening and knew she'd never even begin to know what life had been like for him.

Both her hands smoothed over his chest, fingertips moving over the scars. "You're incredible," she said, meaning it completely. She'd never been with anyone like him before and she ducked her head, her lips moving down the side of his throat as her hands both dropped, creeping closer toward his belt.

He tipped his head back and let out a loose groan as a wave of something hot and heavy washed through him. It wasn't just the feeling of her lips on his neck, the warmth of her breath and the sweet smell of her hair, or what her hands were doing. He couldn't remember anyone saying anything like that to him. Not in that way. He didn't know what to do with it; it sat in front of him like a beautiful but baffling treasure.

So maybe he didn't have to do anything with it. Maybe he didn't have to do anything but slide both his hands down her back, his hips rolling up against her.

A soft moan escaped Lily as she undid his belt and she knew if she didn't manage to move them soon, she was going to end up undressing him on the couch and although there was nothing really wrong with that, there wasn't much room. The couch was narrow and Delta wasn't a small man, so even as she leaned in to kiss him again, her hips rolling in response to his, she was taking one of his hands and trying to get up from the couch.

"Come with me," she murmured against his lips, then pulled back enough to slip off his lap, though she didn't go far.

She barely had to tug. He was on his feet, feeling a little like he was still dreaming, ready to follow her anywhere. He still couldn't stop looking at her, the soft curves of her breasts and the line of her waist, the graceful dip of her spine.

He had no idea how this part of himself had been dormant for so long. He could hardly even imagine it now.

"The bed?" he asked, and almost grinned. "I do know some things."